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Name SION ASTAL (
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small} madhero, The Legend of the Legendary Heroes)
Rank Pawn LIVING Clubs SILVER ...? PHYSICAL APPEARANCE NOTES |
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KNOWN OBJECTIVES
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UNKNOWN OBJECTIVES
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☆ being HONEST (♥♥♥♥)
☆ trolling people ($$♥) ☆ taking a nap/sleeping ($$$$) ☆ eating something ($$$♥) ☆ ☆ |
★ hitting other people's objectives ($$$♥♥♥)
★ bondage ($$♥♥♥) ★ doing something selfish ($$$♥♥) ★ roleplaying ($♥) ★ ★ |
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
cawaii's original
To my self who remembers nothing,
Doubtless, you will be the first to read these letters and thus will be able to hide away this piece. I greatly stress discretion when it comes to the words I am to write and you are to read.
The truth of the matter is that I am envious of your position. Perhaps that is cruel of me to say, but it is the sincere truth. I have longed... for some time now... an end to a large number of things.
I apologize for being vague, but that is why I envy you: these are not your burdens to bear. There are, in fact, only three things you must bear:
1. You must bear the consequences of my actions. If you are fortunate, you may only have people gazing upon you with something like pity. Try not to judge them too hastily for that. It is actually quite lamentable. If you are unfortunate (which is entirely likely given the measures I am taking with this), you will see first-hand the cruelty I have treated others. For that, I have no advice. Only a wish that you will be able to bear this burden I refuse and fear.
2. You must bear the wish of a foolish king. You do not have to choose to accept to attempt to make this wish become a reality. In fact, my experience would indicate that it would do just as well to refuse. Either way, my wish is a simple one in idea but becoming more and more impossible to me by the day. I only wish for a world of relative peace--I do not expect the impossible, humanity will be what it always has been--but a place where there is no necessity to things such as war. An equality among the people who can spend their days as they would please--even should that pleasure be simple, lazy afternoon naps.
3. You must bear the knowledge I am about to impart onto you. There are a few people from home that you will need to know. This is more for your own safety rather than for their comfort. I strongly advise not letting on that you are aware of them, if you are able. I do know some things took me years of practice to perfect.
Ryner Lute and Ferris Eris. These are two people I believe who, if anyone, will find me as you. That sort of rotten luck and the terrible comedy behind it is why I'm certain they may be people you could meet. To both of these people, I have been cruel. And to both of these people, I will continue to be cruel, I suppose. Please, my self, try to be kinder to them. I have and will always consider them my dear, dear friends, and can only hope they can forgive me my actions... with time.
Beyond that, please excuse their more immature antics. They are really quite delightful people despite how they may behave. If all else fails, supply Ferris with dango to pacify her and possibly turn her focus toward disciplining Ryner if he complains.
Lucile. He has been my sword for some time. He has always protected me from the attempts of assassins and worse. I have chosen something he will likely find disagreeable, and if that is so, he will kill me for it.
This man will be a danger to you. There is always a possibility he will break the seal and thus undo the work you will have done. If you can, find those who are stronger than yourself. It will likely do no good unless you then also seek power from this place as I have.
Once more, I only wish I could find it within me to apologize for my actions, for this cruelty.Please. Do what you can to spare Ryner the torment that may loom before him. This is a man who has had such hardship in his life--for reasons he cannot help, for reasons he cannot control. To most people in our world, he is someone who was born the worst of the unfortunate. People have called him cruel and horrific things. People have hurt him and those he loves in cruel and horrific ways.
I am one of those people.
I have struggled to reach for an ideal that Ryner himself also longs for. And I continue to struggle for that, for the sake of everyone. But above all, I struggle to ensure that a fate of what he has known... being all that he will know... forever and ever.... such a fate cannot be. I must never allow such a thing.
I am weak. I have attempted the one way in which I know how to spare him a continued existence of suffering, but I am unable to take Ryner's life myself. My best and dearest friend, I would have spared you suffering if only I were strong enough.
That is why I am here.
Please, myself. Find the strength to either do what is needed or to change what our choices are.
For this? I am sorry to leave in your hands. I can only wish I am strong enough as you are.If you are reading this, then it must be at some point after my memories have been sealed. Please know I, Sion Astal, have chosen this for myself with no outside influence, of my own free will. The decision was made by necessity in addition to being the best way to manage my current condition. There is no need for concern regarding that condition despite how desperate it may sound. So long as my memories remain sealed, so too will my condition be.
It was my decision to make, but I do fear that while it may have been correct, it is not necessarily right. Surely, if the person reading this once knew a Sion Astal as I was before my memories were sealed, they are suffering. Similarly, the Sion Astal who is reading over this letter in, no doubt, surprise, trepidation, fear, and anger is also suffering. For those who suffer but most especially to that Sion Astal, I wish I could say "I sincerely apologize". It is unfortunate that I cannot even bring this me who is unaware of my life a cold comfort such as that.
To those who are not that self, please take care of this me who will be without much of what I am have been used to. I know not how I will be without memories to me, but doubtless, I will want to do my best for others. I am a king of a growing kingdom. Whether or not I am a good king can be left to the philosophers and historians of the future. As it is, I would consider myself a king who has done what he can for his people, for better or for worse. Without my memories, I will know none of this, nor will I likely know how to respond to the idea.
However; to my self who remembers nothing, there are things to be frightened of in these circumstances. You must not allow that fear to control you. This can be a place where you can be at ease, at least for a time. I have hopes that you will pursue the same goal I am choosing to reach in this place, but I also understand that you will do what is necessary in order to achieve the end we are all seeking.
To those who are not that self, please kindly disregard the second letter as it is intended for myself and only myself.
Thank you for your kindness, if you have showed any.
